the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
