new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize