Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
