i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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