It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
