she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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