Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Moan for me like Helen Keller
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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