I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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