and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What a dumb baby whore.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
