Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
