Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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