Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
