This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I would ride that face into the sunset
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
