:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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