I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
