I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
