They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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