somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
