do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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