God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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