So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
