Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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