Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
