I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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