I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
