i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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