dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
