She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
