dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Brb crying the tears of my youth
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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