have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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