She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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