Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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