We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There's always time for handjobs
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
