I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
