The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
