where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
