Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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