Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
