You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
