I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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