why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
