So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
