i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
