just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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