My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
