I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
