ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize