Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(389): View more from

So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"

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(440): View more from Ohio

obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night

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(607): View more from New York

I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.

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(772): View more from Florida

I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

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(813): View more from Florida

Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him

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(415): View more from California

he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.

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(619): View more from California

I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer

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(330): View more from Ohio

They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.

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