it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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