Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
